Smart Pills

Lately I've been a little frustrated. I don't feel I'm as successful as my siblings. Bobby would argue that maybe it's our lifestyle or maybe he's  not working enough. I mean he only worked 48 hours last week, slacker.

 

And as shocking to him as it may be, the world doesn't revolve around him. My siblings are independently successful from their spouses. Their spouses are just eye candy. And since I was raised in the same house as my siblings, I was given all the same opportunities as my sibling, or so I thought. Deductive reasoning says I should be successful. Someone please explain this to my husband. I just married him for his looks and computer skills, it's public knowledge.

 

Last Saturday I had a revelation about my life. Growing up we lived all over the world. I think I was about two when we lived in Africa. Every now and then my dad will tell strange stories about our short but memorable time there. My favorite is that he had to commute on this tiny plane with farm animals…

 

Anyways, Saturday he told a story that I've never heard before. He said while we were there we had a house boy. And one week my mom tried to pay him, he politely declined and asked if mom could pay him in smart pills. My mom looked extremely confused and upon further questioning, he explained to my mom that he had heard that foreigners took "smart pills." Sad but a true story…

 

At first the story sadden me. Then a huge beam of light came on in my head, disturbing the dust and grey matter. What if he was right? What if there were such things as smart pills. What if in the early 70s there was a shortage of smart pills, only 2 per household. I'm not blaming my parents but if they had to pick… My siblings were already school aged… They probably prayed I'd just catch up later…

 

So there you go… Its not my fault I'm a almost-middle-age-unemployed-bad-at-military-games-depressed-freak. It was those smart pills, or lack there of. And this explains why my brother never cracked opened a book a day in his life…Spooky…

 

A minute after my husband reads this he's gonna call me and say "now that you finished ranting for the day don't you have 4 projects to finished?" yeah, yeah, what the hell is he gonna do? take it out of my paycheck?

 

It just amuses me. And y'all know its my new slogan. The guys are anxious to teach me a knew game. If I suck at it, "its not my fault… no…smart…pills…"