Everybody's a loser!

Allegedly there was this little league coach who paid a kid $25 to throw a ball at another teammate so his teammate couldn't play. It was a big game and the kid who they wanted to sit out had a disability. Here's what I'm thinking… I'm thinking, the hitboy should have gotten at least $50, $100 if it was in the playoffs. Hell, give crip boy $100 and everybody's a winner! Yes, I'm growing cynical in my old age. (Seriously, if the coach did this, he should be fired, at the very very least. It's so offensive, it's funny)

On the other side of the coin, Nicholas started playing soccer this spring. My college roommate came with me to one game and kept whispering "You're head's gonna explode…" I'm a yeller… I'd say I was competitive but I'm just not skilled at any one thing to be. Every few weeks we have a game night. Bobby and his evil twin, as I like to refer to his buddy, are twice as smart as I am. I figure the only way I'll win is if I yell and talk trash til they get a headache and quit. Aside from my 5 or 6 black eyes, which I probably deserved, I can feel I'm wearing them down… I should win a game any day now.

The organization that Nicholas plays soccer with doesn't believe in competition at all. "Hello?!" I screamed… then whispered as Bobby smothered my mouth. You can't keep score. You must make everything a positive statement. There's even a rulebook for parents. Talk about appropriate bathroom material. On their behalf, the games were well run and I liked every single parent. Nicholas had a blast. I was just thrilled if he ran the right way.

We are hoping he'll play again in the fall. He has fun, gets his heart pounding. So here's what I'm wondering, should I look for something in the middle? I don't want a hitman taking him out if he misses a kick, but if he's picking his nose and misses a goal, I think its my god given parental right to yell at him… Hypothetically of course.

All kidding aside I would much rather a friendly game for Nicholas then a high stung, must-fight-to-the-death coach. But it's rather unrealistic to teach Nicholas everybody wins all the time. Damn, do I know this from personal experience.

Now I'm all wound up. I'm so happy we called a last minute small game night. Bob will be distracted by a half naked Starbuck on Sci-fi. I'm taking him down! (If Evil twin & beautiful girl are free… Hey, did you know Starbuck is a girl? a silly girl... who smokes cigars...) And so begins my trash talk :