Friday the 13th sucks

Our son Nicholas asked me if he found a penny was it truly lucky. I laughed because  he asked on the morning of Friday the 13th. I told him if he thought it was lucky, it was. I was proud that my answer was so zenlike.

 

For the rest of the day I mocked people on tv who cried about their superstition of Friday the 13th. I never paid much attention to the date. I never had any disastrous events on this day so big woop. Its Sunday and I'm still tasting my foot in my mouth.

 

Bobby came home from work and he's pale white, which is bad because one of my pet names for him is white boy. He had bad news. Of course my first worry is someone was hurt. No. ok. I can breathe again. But he sure looked devastated.

 

Now the bad news is not mine so I'm not going to publicly share it. But I finally figured out what it felt like. Go with me on this metaphor we call life. Let's say, we finally saved enough money to redo the kitchen. We spent the whole morning picking out appliances, tiles, wallpaper, ect. We get home and a tree had fallen through the roof and now decorated our family room. This is an unexpected semi-tragedy. Freaking great.  What a pain in the ass. Will it destroy my life? Naw. Complicated it? you have no idea. It'll take weeks to clean up the mess,  and probably even longer to feel safe.  And I sure as hell can kiss my new refrigerator goodbye for 6 month.

 

My first instinct was to write one of my infamous angry letters to my best friends, venting how horrible life was and how this tragedy was somehow related to my handicap. Because when I get in this frame of mind, my handicap is the root of all evil. I resisted my first temptation to do this and ended up just texting one for a quick bitch session. all I wanted was someone to agree that this just royaly suck. (i'll email the crip circle soon with this news. i'm being lazy but we are all healthy and bob like didn't run away and join the circus or anything.)

 

I think Bobby is sneaking happy pills into my drink because I'm unusually perky these past few days. I had a lovely dinner with friends. I'm busy preparing for my biggest seminar to date. If all goes well, the giant elephant sitting in my living room might shrink a bit. Life should feel worse but I just don't have the energy.

 

My closest friends have accused me of being a self fulfilling prophecy. In the past I have had the power to predict several failures in my life. Pretty cool huh? So I was thinking maybe I should turn over a new leaf and try to use my super human powers for good.

 

So this prophecy will be. I'm gonna kick ass in my seminar, getting a contract for  12 more. we are gonna get an offensively huge amount of insurance money to restore our budget. And my first Disability Insights employee will work for me 80 hours a week and wear really sexy suits. There ya go.

 

(bob just got a flood of calls from the crip cirlcle, asking if I'm high.)