Hip... By Association

The other day we were on the road and I start screaming, "It's a bus, it's a contiki tour bus. Look, look, that's the tour company Pam and I took on our European adventure, when we were young and hip." I sighed falling into a slightly altered remembrance, in this daydream Mr. bus driver was obsessed with me. <sigh…>

 

My daydream was interrupted by rude laughter. Ok, if bob was like "Superdaydream Man" with powers of seeing into other's fantasies, he'd had reason to laugh but there was nothing unusually humorous about my statement of facts.

 

What the hell was the man laughing at? Was Pam my best friend a figment of my imagination, hello? No, Bob adores her.  She was in our wedding. He knows we went to Europe. There's a

picture of us on the shelf.  I was very confused as why Bobby was laughing. So I mistakenly ask.

 

"You thought you were hip." He said while laughing and beating on the steering wheel. Big talk coming from the poster boy for "Middle aged d&d playing computer nerds" of America." (I still can't convince him that's not necessarily a compliment.)

 

I resented I had to justify my hipness to such a low life. My hipness just is. I had friends who worked in museums and raced motorcycles and spoke 5 different languages. They were (are) hot. And if that's not enough, I was a Fag Hag. That fact alone guarantees I'll always be hip at some level.

 

"So, you were, let's see, hip by association." He howled, laughing even louder. Laugh it up nerd boy. In two years I'll have my first board meeting in Vegas. With all my hip board of directors. and oh look, Bobby's seat is an elected position voted by, my hip friends. You might be able to buy one of the six off, that is until I copyright my tortellini recipe then you've got nothing... mahaha.

 

There I found my happy place again. I waved as the contiki bus drove in front of us and started pulling forward. My dreamy grin suddenly turned into sheer horror as I quickly turned away from Bobby to hide my single tear of heartbreak. As the bus pulled away from us, I notice the tagline, Contiki Tours, for the 21-35 year olds…

 

Hell yeah I'm still eligible. For like 61 more days. NEVERMIND!