The Magical Number

Bobby's gonna kill me. And I must admit this murder may be warranted. I have finally decided I've gone off the deep end and I'm trying to take Bobby with me. Y'all know I hate being alone.

 

I'm working on a huge business project and like any good business woman I set a goal. Bobby sighed, not really wanting to ask but felt obligated to ... So, what was my magical number. The one that would a) bring me a sense of accomplishment and B) bring him quiet if only for a second.

 

"I'm thinking of a number." I flirted very cutely. See ten years ago he would of thought it was cute. Now he mumbled "Shoot me now, ok I'll play, what's the number?"

 

It was a good, solid, single digit number. He agreed it was a good number but then I was perplexed. Why did he like that number? It was kind of low. Did he think that's all I could do? What an ass!

 

Preliminary reports show I exceeded my goal 10 times over. Most of you are congratulating me. Five of you are thinking yay, but what's the Crip Clause?

 

Ha! Y'all are wrong… There's no Crip Clause. This is a good thing. I'm thrilled. I'm ecstatic. Period. Sure  I'd have like the project to be more spread out… To assure me more work in the future instead of one big boom.  But this is still great… good… fine… Damn, this sucks.

 

I had a favorite professor in college who once told me that 90% of the people in the world are afraid to fail. 10% of the people in the world were afraid to succeed because they were brilliant but kinda like hiding in the crowds where it was safe and where they could sorta fly under the radar. Because the more they succeeded the more people would push them toward greatness. Did I mention this professor became a personal friend after graduation and she was tipsy when sharing this theory?

 

I had a inspiration. Bob and the crip club are gonna be so proud of me. It's the first step towards accepting that I may not suck at everything. When I get paid for this gig, I'm gonna spend every dime on myself! Because if I'm truly on the path of greatness there will be hundreds of future checks to like buy my boys toys… remodel the kitchen… buy food… Pay the light bill…

 

Oh look! My husband is continuously banging his head on his desk… Ouch, that's probably gonna leave a mark. (So bob… Bet ya stop bitching about how I keep raising the magical number :)

 

My work here is done. I'm going back to pouting and analyzing why I only…