I need a lawyer to write my prayers

Without bragging, most of my prayers are always answered, ok other than the obvious… But I don't think "If you cure my cerebral palsy, I'll go to Africa and work for the Peace Corp for the rest of my life." is still applicable.  Although my husband and his little playmate are hooked on this new game so they'd probably loved to blow each other up in peace.

 

You don't believe me? In high school, I prayed guys would like me. Til this day, about half of my bestest friends are males. I got smarter in college, I prayed that a guy would love me, I just didn't say how long he should love me for. It only took me nine years but I got my prayer right and I found Bobby. And I even messed that up, when I said a rich man, I didn't mean when he turned 90… oh, I'm kidding.

 

So lately I've been praying for a part time job. Something at home to tide me over until my business takes off.  By the way Bob, I'm still as passionate about my seminars as ever but I'm going to shut up til checks are cashed…

 

Last Wednesday I got a job offer. It was perfect. Check emails. Transcribe Audio messages. And forward them. I'd be paid by the number I did. Perfect. They gave me an "average" number of calls. It would not pay for a summer vacation in Tuscany but maybe a few nights out. Still I was excited.

 

They said I needed to check emails every 30 minutes, That's cool too. From 7-4 weekdays I'm working at home… Oh, those aren't my hours? 4-8 weekdays 8-8 weekends… oh. Sure… I'll try for a week…

 

After being unemployed for 8 years, bitching about it for 7 years 364 days… (I cried for the first 24 hours after I was laid off) it is with much regret that after being gainfully employed for 5 days I quit. Oh look Bobby's calling his lawyer…

 

Here's the thing. Bobby & I came up with a number of calls a week that would make it worth my while. Of course we spent 3 weeks of my future income on wireless network (which we wanted anyways…)

 

That being said, the number was way lower than told… I figured it out. My week earnings won't pay for a typical movie night. 2 adult tickets, 2 drinks, popcorn & twlisters. And poor little crip girl couldn't workout on weekdays… Bobby said he'd dropped me off, stay on email duty, drop me home when I finished swimming, than he'd return to the gym to workout. Hell the gas alone would put us in debt.

 

Sunday was just a pain work wise. It's our family day. Nicholas has hockey. And we went bowling & to dinner with friends. We would get messages at the most annoying time, or was it at the loudness… at hockey practice… in the middle of cheering for a strike… ordering dinner. Because I'm totally anal, if they say 30 minutes, I'm antsy at 25.

 

So there you go. I was gainfully employed for a week.  I actually pity Bobby. Not that he is married to a crip, but a freaking psycho. It's all good. I'll just revise my prayer and a job will appear in  5 to 7 years… Great. I'll be poor but my thighs will look good because I'm working out. This time my shallowness even astounded myself.

 

My prayer as of tonight: And please god, find me a part time, at home, on the computer, 7-4, weekday job that I wouldn't suck at, preferably minimum wage.  Thank you.