clarifiedchaos

Monday, December 04, 2006

Reinventing Claire

About seven weeks ago I had a moment of professional clarity that was so empowering I actually set professional goals to meet by my 40th birthday. Of course my dreams were shattered by two people who think they know me oh so well. Do you believe they claimed my ambitions are moving targets and I will always up the stakes, therefore I'll never feel accomplished because I blow myself off. Ha! Just because they have more than 25 years of claire's crap between them doesn't mean they know me.

I'll show them. One seminar a week is all I want. It's my goal. Then I'll be happy. I swear. Besides if I had to actually dress more then once a week, it'd be too much work. Of course if I had 2 a week, I could hire someone to dress me. Oh leave me alone.

So everything is going well. But I have this one thing I need to take care of before there's smooth sailing. Long story short, I tried a new medicine to relax the effects of my Cerebral Palsy, didn't do anything but dry my mouth causing damaged to my already ugly teeth. Great.

It took me a long time to decide to have it fix. Then even longer to find a dentist who would actually work with me. Something about drilling on a gal with spasms. Go figure.

Many of you must be thinking oh she's afraid of pain. Not true, although I do try to avoid pain as much as possible. I'm deathly afraid of being put to sleep. Its irrational I know but look at my record people, I was late to my own birth causing my Cerebral Palsy, and I walk around in a Nyquil fog for a week after I pop one green pill. Very happy, but in a fog none the less

But there comes a point where I just want to get it over with. The funny part is I'm brainwashing myself. dentists are good. They can make me pretty. And I have a few events coming up that I wanna look really hot for. (I know they ain't miracle workers but whatever gets my chicken shit butt in the chair.)

On the flip side, if I just don't wake up, I'll win a bet with Bobby. And y'all know I love winning. We have these silly playful spats, "I can't live with out you, I'm going first." blah, blah, blah. And it would just piss him off if I went first, mostly because he says I have to handle Nicholas til he's accepted into a college.

Looking at it that way, there's no losing. Look pretty or have the last laugh on Bobby. Sick but cool. Yes I know there are medications to help me think clearer, but this is so much more fun.
I'm going for my treatment plan next week, then probably start procedures in January, I'm sure it'll be fine. Just fine. Really how many people suffer from a medical oops? Shit, nevermind,

Can't think about this anymore, I'll go back to my other obsession, work. Like I was saying, when I could meet my goal of 3 seminars a week, life will be so good.

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