All i want for Christmas...

Last night as I stared at my husband sleeping, I wanted to scream “do you not know me?” and smother him with a pillow. But I didn’t because I love him, and he thought he was doing the right thing. And quite frankly, he’s bigger than me.

 

Yesterday I had my first dentist appointment on the road to a beautiful smile. I was very nervous because they made me take a pill an hour before to mellow me out and I hate being out of control. But I took it, after Bobby shoved it down my throat. I’m kidding I took it.

 

Damn it worked good because 5 hours later I’m on my couch, with my mom staring at me. I Don’t remember anything after checking in at the dentist. To Bobby’s dismay, I was a sleepy boring drunk. He says the only thing I did slightly amusing is that on the way home, I was trying to sit up. And I spent five minutes trying to reach the grab bar above my seat. I finally reach it and was to weak to pull myself up.

 

Bobby said the appointment went great. They wanted to make a good mold of my mouth. Did it. I had two teeth that were just killing me. They pulled them. Everything was good. But there was one slight misfortune. It seems that during the procedure they asked me to bite on something and I just bit the shit out of it, loosening my front tooth.

 

So they asked Bobby, my next of kin if they should leave it or pull it. And if they left it, they worried I might choke on it. But if they pulled it, they’ll have my replacement by next Thursday. Bobby told them to pull it. Do you remember the scene from moonstruck where  Cher slaps  Nicholas Cage and yells "snap out of it?" Yeah…

 

For 14 months I’ve been looking for a in-town camera person to help me shoot a demo. Finally met one that I absolutely love. And we are/were/are/were… We were planning to shoot it Monday, like in 6 days.

 

Let’s see, run the slight possibility on choking on a tooth or ruining my professional dreams forever. Thanks. (now that was being dramatic.) but I’m so pissed, not at Bobby, but the timing just sucks.

 

And my husband is sweet. He’s like, just shoot the distance shots Monday and close-ups later. So I pull out a mirror, left it at one end of my house. staring in the mirror i slowly backed up until I looked normal. My house isn’t long enough to make me look decent.

 

So there’s my toothless life. And ya know this week I’ll try to hide at home, and the one night I go out I’ll run into everyone I never wanted to see. Exboyfriends, old favorite professors, potential clients. It’ll be fun. Oh hell, I’ll bet the admissions reunion is this weekend too. Sneeze. Oops. Can’t go. I’m sick. Don’t invite me y’all.

 

I have this funny saying. I’m too handicapped to be anal and too ugly to be vain. Guess I was wrong. It’s gonna be a long 9 days folks. Because remember Bobby – vanity always trumps choking.