Best damn vacation ever!

First as a overall acknowledgement, my Vegas Vacation was awesome. I spent time with my boys and one of my bestest friends. So that in itself is wonderful. But you know me, I need stuff to bitch about because it’s just my nature.

 

Before we left I was trying to sell two big highlights to Nicholas. One, there’s an awesome pirate show that you’ll love. With swords, explosions, and sinking ships. Every boy’s fantasy right? Secondly the grand canyon will just take your breath away. Not so much.

 

Bobby and I saw the pirate show 5 years ago and I was just heart broken that Nicholas wasn’t with us. This time I was heart broken that nicholas was witness to it. For 20 minutes my son glared at me. The show kinda changed y’all. now there was a girl ship and a boy ship. Half naked girl kipnaps half naked boy, ties him up… slowly… he didn’t seem to be putting up much of a fight. I’m just saying… Then the battling ships proceeds to a dance off instead of a sword fight. Than there was an explosion or two which Nicholas sorta enjoyed but I think he was too far in denial zone to appreciate the destruction. And that was that.

 

I don't consider myself to be a prude. Ok Bobby might but I’m not. I flirted with a Klingon. Hey it wasn’t like he got paid to fraternize with customers. Oh. Oh! Damnit, guess I shouldn’t have bought those 50 jugs of klingon wine. (two people are laughing their asses off the rest, nevermind…) I took a picture with a cipendale dancer, kinda (next yall will tell me he WAS WORKING TOO. Whatever!) so there. I’m not a prude. But this pirate show was questionable at best. Bad dancing. Bad acting. And way too much skin. Nicholas was offended. Bobby was baffled. And I couldn’t believe I’ve just seen a pg-strip show, and a bad one at that.

 

But I still knew grand canyon would be awesome for Nicholas. One or two things would happen. He would have a amazing revelation at how beautiful god creation is. Or, even more astonishing, that I love him so much that I dragged my ass out of the casino to take him.  Now that’s truly a miracle! So we cross the dam, cross the desert, 5 hour drive. I refuse to pee because we were in my friends van and putting the wheelchair in was a pain so I just decided not to pee. We drive. Clouds forming. Raindrops appear, which didn’t help my peeing protest. But I was a woman on a mission. Once we get there and i raced to the restrooms, We had a lovely picnic and as we begun our hike the skies clear, and for a moment, perfection. It truly is beautiful. And then this lovely little boy I gave life to, looked into my eyes and said “Mommy.” I love it when he says mommy. “mommy, where’s the arcade?” clouds reappeared and I chased his ungrateful ass all the way back to the van in the pouring rain. Little brat!

 

Of course these 2 events were minor in overall the best dam family vacation ever! Nicholas had so much fun with his buddy Samuel. i just enjoyed hanging with my peeps, and hitting it big on the penny machines. And I’m wearing Bobby down. 1st vegas trip he was like gambling is evil. 2nd, he watched me, this time he actually sneaked away to gamble, and wants to go back next year. Yes! Finally I’ve corrupted him. I take great pride in that. My work has just begun. Did he know there was a casino exactly 149 miles from our house? I’m just saying… all of the pennies, none of the airfare!

 

But if you know me. I’m a simple minded gal and as long as I’m with my girlfriends, I giggle at anything. The best dam thing that amused me was Julie & I started playing the dam game as we crossed the Hoover dam. It’s the game where you can shout dam as long as it’s a legal phrase because dam is not a bad word. At first Bobby thought it was cute… but on the 35th dam, he started giving me dirty looks. Dam him.

 

The only bad thing about a vacation so wonderful is the bit of depression afterwards. I’m lucky because I have a bunch of best friends who I truly love, regretfully most of them aren’t in Houston. And sometimes when I don't see them for a while I worry we won't click. You & me still click jb. And I’m truly sadden when we are separated again. so there’s just one thing to do, plan our next excellent adventure of course! (actually Bobby says we should do all vacations with yall because Nicholas has sam, I have you & he gets peace with Dewey. and we all love little miss jess. I’m sure Bob's eagerness to vacation with friends is a backhanded compliment about my neediness but what every gets me to you…