Careers moves

Here’s the problem. I don’t think things through. I understand things that are happening, I just don't always comprehend the repercussions. For example, before Bobby started Ultrasound school we went to dinner with our friends. We ate at Chuys. I even remember what we all ordered. We had this really cute conversation about how cool it would be to perform ultrasound on the opposite sex and to get paid for it. And I admit I freely participated in the conversation. But I guess I thought it was hypothetical. Like our “5 people list”. Like  if Bobby’s ever stuck in a elevator with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Or I’m stranded on a desert island with Benjamin bratt…

 

So Bobby starts school and every week he tells me about the scans on the throat he does and 50 other things he does that I don't understand but his face is happy so I assume it is good. so last week he comes home all excited because he did his 1st scan on the heart on another cute well endowed student.

 

I took rocks for jocks in college as my science. So it was cool to learn you can do a scan of the heart through the throat. Yup. Yup. I need to believe this because if you actually had to do a scan above the heart that means Bobby would actually have to touch non-throat areas and I’ll have to break his hands. Bummer.

 

I’m Kidding. I'll just make it about me, like I always do. He has to  “intern” for my brother for a while so surely my brother only has elderly male patients. Surely. And if that doesn’t work, I can be bought off. An hour with phil and his warm rocks every week. Phil gives massages! Geez… And I’ll pretend when the boys are on the porch smoking stokies, they are evilly grinning about wonderful surprises they plan to bestow on us. and not listening to Bobby's "ultrasound" story of the week. Whatever gets me through the night right.

 

The other problem I didn’t see coming is on a more serious note. After years of sucking at many business ideas, (although in my favor I think my seminars can be huge but I don't know how to market it.) I think my dimphotos shows the most potential. Yesterday I got my first “contract” of steady work. and it kinda pushes my little toe to the door of potential opportunities. If I get several contracts maybe I could even hire someone part time to do a little delivery, some errands… ya know.

 

I can't even say what it is because its too… Bobby and juliebeth have talked me into it. (when I call you in tears…) It’s making slideshows of love ones who have recently passed on. Am I the only one who thinks this is wrong to make money at this? Hello? From a purely ethical standpoint it seems wrong. To profit from death. Not to mention sad and a little creepy. But I had to laugh because this could only happen to me because the lady who contacted us was surprised that my price was like ¼ of what she was paying. And I thought we overpriced it. We’ll see.

 

I can’t end on such a depressing note so I’ll end on a morbid one. I’ve decided that David can do my slides when the time comes, with Michael Bolton music. (trust me, its funny. Isn’t it nice to know I plan to annoy you from the great beyond?) But here’s the problem. You’ll have to use pictures from like the 90s and your wedding. I looked good at your wedding… I discovered I have a new compulsive in which I choose nothing to do about. last week I needed a ugly picture of myself (that’s another story but…) and I realize, I had none! Because I sorta… deleted all the bad pictures of me. Ain’t that cool? Bobby takes pictures of like weekend trips, downloads them & kinda forgets them and I go in and “edit” them. Its amazing Bobby & Nicholas are never deleted. Weird huh?

 

Bobby is never downloading pictures on my computer again. teeheehee.

 

 

Career Moves, Bob up, Claire down

Here’s the problem. I don’t think things through. I understand things that are happening, I just don't always comprehend the repercussions. For example, before Bobby started Ultrasound school we went to dinner with our friends. We ate at Chuys. I even remember what we all ordered. We had this really cute conversation about how cool it would be to perform ultrasound on the opposite sex and to get paid for it. And I admit I freely participated in the conversation. But I guess I thought it was hypothetical. Like our “5 people list”. Like  if Bobby’s ever stuck in a elevator with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Or I’m stranded on a desert island with Benjamin bratt…

 

So Bobby starts school and every week he tells me about the scans on the throat he does and 50 other things he does that I don't understand but his face is happy so I assume it is good. so last week he comes home all excited because he did his 1st scan on the heart on another cute well endowed student.

 

I took rocks for jocks in college as my science. So it was cool to learn you can do a scan of the heart through the throat. Yup. Yup. I need to believe this because if you actually had to do a scan above the heart that means Bobby would actually have to touch non-throat areas and I’ll have to break his hands. Bummer.

 

I’m Kidding. I'll just make it about me, like I always do. He has to  “intern” for my brother for a while so surely my brother only has elderly male patients. Surely. And if that doesn’t work, I can be bought off. An hour with phil and his warm rocks every week. Phil gives massages! Geez… And I’ll pretend when the boys are on the porch smoking stokies, they are evilly grinning about wonderful surprises they plan to bestow on us. and not listening to Bobby's "ultrasound" story of the week. Whatever gets me through the night right.

 

The other problem I didn’t see coming is on a more serious note. After years of sucking at many business ideas, (although in my favor I think my seminars can be huge but I don't know how to market it.) I think my dimphotos shows the most potential. Yesterday I got my first “contract” of steady work. and it kinda pushes my little toe to the door of potential opportunities. If I get several contracts maybe I could even hire someone part time to do a little delivery, some errands… ya know.

 

I can't even say what it is because its too… Bobby and juliebeth have talked me into it. (when I call you in tears…) It’s making slideshows of love ones who have recently passed on. Am I the only one who thinks this is wrong to make money at this? Hello? From a purely ethical standpoint it seems wrong. To profit from death. Not to mention sad and a little creepy. But I had to laugh because this could only happen to me because the lady who contacted us was surprised that my price was like ¼ of what she was paying. And I thought we overpriced it. We’ll see.

 

I can’t end on such a depressing note so I’ll end on a morbid one. I’ve decided that David can do my slides when the time comes, with Michael Bolton music. (trust me, its funny. Isn’t it nice to know I plan to annoy you from the great beyond?) But here’s the problem. You’ll have to use pictures from like the 90s and your wedding. I looked good at your wedding… I discovered I have a new compulsive in which I choose nothing to do about. last week I needed a ugly picture of myself (that’s another story but…) and I realize, I had none! Because I sorta… deleted all the bad pictures of me. Ain’t that cool? Bobby takes pictures of like weekend trips, downloads them & kinda forgets them and I go in and “edit” them. Its amazing Bobby & Nicholas are never deleted. Weird huh?

 

Bobby is never downloading pictures on my computer again. teeheehee.

 

the good, the bad, and the idiots

So last weekend I was invited to see the new movie Tropic Thunder the next time we had babysitters for the kids. I wasn’t completely sold on the movie because the invite came like 5 seconds after seeing an intense, dark, good, dare I say great movie. But I’m game for anything with our new click so I’m like hell yeah.

 

Imagine my astonishment the next day when I read that some disability groups are protesting Tropic Thunder. Sadly it only fueled my need to see it. Because if it causes the disability community to be up in arms, it must be offensive and it’s gonna make me laugh my ass off. Their complaint is Ben Stiller character is referred to as retarded, I think that was the gist of it.

 

No its not nice. And I admit I am very hypercritical about that stuff. Don't call my husband a ass, don't call my girls hoes, and don't call my homosexual best friend a fag, but I do, on a daily basis.

 

But come on. It’s a movie. Equal opportunity offender. If you’re sensitive, unlike myself, don't go to the movie. Because, news flash, the people who see it probably already have an opinion of the word. I prefer not to use it. And seeing the movie won’t suddenly make me want to use it.  Although I still do say “oh my god” from the 80s movie Valley Girls so…

 

There are such bigger fishes to fry. Like the “ugly” Chinese girl. did ya’ll hear about this? Now that just chaps my hide. In short ugly girl was replaced with cute girl to lip-sync to hidden ugly girl voice at the Olympics opening ceremonies.  This is offensive to ugly girls everywhere, including myself. The worse part is I wanted to see what she looked like. If she was deformed or crippled or had hideous acne or wore glasses or had bad teeth or drooled uncontrollable. (3 people are laughing. Stop. Asses. Teeheehee) but she was absolutely gorgeous!

 

Bigger fishes to fry, like idiots who park in disability parking. Ok this is usually Bobby’s pet peeve. I have so many other things to grip about. But this one guy left me speechless. We were trying to park at the mall. There was 2 crip spots and a none-crip was just parked, hanging out in one. That was the one I needed with the strips on my side so I could transfer to my chair easier. Bobby asked him to move, and at first he hesitated, pointing at the next slot, but then yelled “calm down man”. And backs out, making room for us to pull in.

 

So Bobby is cursing under his breath but I’m just relieved because I think it's over. Nope. There’s more. The guy has the nerve to repark next to us. In the other handicap spot. Bobby is absolutely livid. Like those cartoons with the smoke coming out of his cute ears. It was actually good to know other people cause him to do this, not just me. But I could tell he really really wanted to confront the guy. I’m trying to calm him down. Because A) Nicholas was with us. and B) I hated the smell of fresh blood before shopping. So he and Nicholas finally go unload my wheelchair in the back. And I realize I’m mad, and like I said, I don't usually care. But this guy seemed to be just wanting to be a pain. So as I get out of the van I try to make eye contact with this guy while looking just as pathetic as I can, legs extra twisted, left arm higher in air. He never looked at me. Bastard… the bad kind. (as opposed to the good bastards I play board games with.)

 

So what have we learn today? Calling a real girl ugly, bad. Parking in disability spaces when you don't need to, bad. Seeing a movie that might make us laugh, not so bad. Go see it and say your favorite crip sent you.