I'll forgive you Tom

I have decided Bobby and I have been married too long. Last night I glanced over at his computer screen and two gigantic breasts were staring me in the face. Ten years ago I would have gone berserk. I was still pissed but not because of the boobs. I'm thinking, if he has the gulls to leave me watching TV by myself to go look at naked women, he should have at least left the remote. Geez, inconsiderate ass. I'm kidding, it was one of those joke porn sites, which he immediately pointed out the instant he felt my eyes on him. But he has to admit I've come along way baby.

That being said, I'm happy to announce Tom Cruise is back on my list. Ya know, the list. Those five people we would… let's say, have drinks with, and our partners could not hate us because we had a prenuptial agreement. To love, honor, and obey… and if Robin Williams invites me to dinner, I'll be home by 10.

I have to admit that Tom is the only "all American" face on my list. So my heart broke when he announced his feelings for Katie, over and over and over. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing sexier to me then a man madly in love with his woman. But even if he was jumping on Oprah's Couch screaming "Claire," I'd think I would have to pull a Cher in Moonstruck, slap him, saying "snap out of it." That was annoying, even for a romantic like me.

But my guy redeemed himself by his response to the punk reporter. Bottom line I think my Tom's just that nice, just that madly in love. How many of us would beat the hell out of the reporter who squirted us in the face with a unidentified liquid? I'd probably would have, most certainly if they squirted Nicholas.  He was calm, assertive, and in control.

So my world is happily back in order. Tom on my list. Bobby on my computer. And I hope the saying is true, there's nothing sexier than a man in love. If it is, I'm pretty damn lucky