Help spread the madness

I'd like to think I'm above using my blog to beg for help but obviously I'm not. So here goes, I'm looking for help. And the peanut gallery goes wild… I know all the hecklers comments, There is no help. We'll come see you at the funny farm. Blah. Blah. Blah.

 

First of all is my disclaimer, this is not a freaky pyramid scam or one of those marketing things: I'll tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and soon 6 former friends show up at your house to beat the crap out of you because they are now on some call list.

 

Short story short, I'm starting a company teaching disability etiquette to large corporations / customer services driven businesses. STOP LAUGHING CRIP CLUB… I can play nice and be polite and politically correct. I just choose not to 99.9% of the time.

 

I'm looking for a few folks to make follow up calls after I send them brochures. And if you help me book something there's a commission. That's it. Sounds kinda hokey but big corporations are always looking for these feel good "bonding with their employees" classes…

 

My new website is http://www.disabilityinsights.com/ If you think the site is too simplistic, you are more then welcomed to redesign it. And you my darling know who you are… I ought to have a good reference from my first seminar in two weeks, either that or I'll just spontaneously combust. I think there's a pool if you are the betting kind, I personally am leaning towards the explosion.

 

Give me a scream if you're interested or if you know someone who is. I'm aiming for one seminar a month. Any more may cause personal problems. My husband thinks I should do this full time and hire him as my personal ass… I mean asst. I haven't had the heart to tell him, I just don't like him that much. oh stop boo'ing, he'd probably jump in front of a moving train after a month of All Claire, All the time.

New Orleans

On my first night of my college freshmen orientation I meant and fell madly in lust with this Greek God named Michael Levvit. He had this great opening line. He heard I was a Newspaper woman, he was starting a new department on campus called OVO, and wanted me as a writer.

 

Looking back my advisor probably sent him to me to make sure I adjusted to college life. Four years later and my putting off basic math 5 semesters in a row, I'm sure she regretted that, I may have adjusted a little too well. Who knew you weren't supposed to plan your classes around extra curricular activities.

 

Long story short, I soon learned OVO stands for Office of Volunteering Opportunities. And Michael could sell an Armanti Suit to a nudist. For two years I practically lived in that office. It was the first place in my "new life" that I felt I belonged.

 

I wish I could say I did great things but I probably didn't. I ate the cold pizza that always seemed to be in the refrigerator and I wrote a weekly column about other people doing great things, usually Michael was behind it. Michael Levvit died tragically in October of 1992.

 

In my life, I probably made four big ass life alternating mistakes. I'd say trying to be born feet first was kinda dumb… can you say permanently brain damaged? Another was, the week after Michael died I resigned from my column at OVO. And I "moved" out. I know he'd wanted me to keep spreading the word about volunteering but I just couldn't imagine going in the office without getting my daily bear hug.

 

There's nothing I can say about New Orleans. I grieve as a human being. And I grieve personally as we are just now learning what my family members have lost. Michael has been on my mind because he wanted to save the world. If I know him, by now he probably would have rented a canoe and paddled the streets of New Orleans, saving one family at a time.

 

I wondered what he'd tell me to do. Would he tell me to go to New Orleans and rent a canoe? Hell no. Although he'd probably get a good laugh at the thought of me trying to paddle straight. Through our two year earth journey, he became an overprotective big brother so that's definitely out. Michael would tell me to try to donate a little to the Red Cross. http://www.redcross.org/ . Michael would tell me to donate can goods to the food pantry. And Michael would tell me to write something, no matter how insignificant it seems to be…