Lions. Tigers. and Allerigies

fWhen I was little I remember going to the circus and thinking one day when I grow up, I'm going to come back and buy everything my parents denied me. Popcorn, pretzels, hot dogs, cotton candy, ice cream… and that was just before intermission, food wise. I won't even go into the list of toys, gadgets, and posters I wanted.

 

Saturday we took Nicholas to the circus and it devastated me to realize I'm 50 times meaner then my mom ever was. Before we left the house I gave the lecture. No eating, no drinking, stay together, one restroom break at intermission. Got it? they stared at me like I just beat them… "oh yeah.. Have fun…" I tried to sound up beat as they marched soberly to the van.

 

First and most importantly, Nicholas had an absolute blast. And we did buy him popcorn and a drink. I'm not such a horrible mother, I just thought if I growled a lot, he'd appreciate what he got more… another theory shot to hell but… this is the boy who had 3 trips, one camp, and swim lessons this summer and is bored.

 

Anyway… the circus. It's not my favorite thing. The clowns have always kinda creep me out, like why are they always smiling? But the animals were cool and the acrobats were great… but I admit it, I'm a huge cirq-de-solis junkie so it takes a lot to impress me now. Sure you can stick your head in a lion but can you fly through the air dangling off of a red silk ribbon?

 

So we get there early because there's a preshow and an area where you can visit the animals. I knew Nicholas would just go nuts seeing the animals but I also knew I was taking a risk. Its not documented but I think I'm allergic to some bizarre combination of animal hair, dust, and hay... on a good day, nothing happens. Sometimes on so-so days, my nose will run. And 1% of the time, I'll have a asthma attack or my face will blow up and my profile makes the elephant man's nose look slim…

 

Nicholas is skipping through the animal section. Bobby's running behind. And I'm following them, trying only to breathe when I really need to because I really believe I'll be fine if I don't inhale or touch my face. Laugh at my preventive methods but it worked. I only suffered a few powerful sneezes.  

 

Our biggest complaint was it was loud. Not just loud but  incomprehensible  you know what it was like? The Peanuts character no one could understand.(I'm ignoring the irony) it was so loud Bobby and I took breaks…

 

But overall the torture was worth it.
Cost of tickets: an extremely good meal at Papaduex,
Parking, drinks, and popcorn: $30
Nicholas look of amazement: Priceless

 

 

Tolerate thy neigbor

Before I start today's column, I like to update my perm saga. I have to laugh, I'm blessed with a handful of best friends, about half girls, half guys… and I'm amused that the guys are like egging me on...  just let Bobby do it… send pictures… my gal pals sent discreet emails, all starting with "you know I love Bobby but…"

 

As it turned out, I did let Bobby give me a perm yesterday. My favorite buddy and I gently directed him and I think it turned out great. And if you aren't looking for it, you won't notice, except for a little more puff. (not big hair.. :p  )

 

Moving on. Something happened this weekend that totally freaked me out. To protect the innocent, I'll say it happened at party O's house, someone I'm extremely close too.

 

I don't know how to explain it but the short version is for about three hours on Saturday a man in his birthday suit hung out on Party O's front porch and towards the end he was getting violent, banging on doors, throwing flower pots. We don't know if he was mentally ill or what…

 

The good news is no one at Party O's was hurt. The police had to sedate the guy and he was taken away. If that was that, I'd call it an unfortunate event but its not the end of the story.

 

As it turns out the guys lives across from party O. The weird part is I was considering going there Saturday. I don't think I even told Bobby. I was weighing the options and I think I decided we'd go in a few weeks…

 

If we had gone Saturday like I was tempted to, we'd get there about noon. And by 1 Nicholas would be running with the neighborhood kids in front of the house. And even as I type this I get goose bumps. When Nicholas was 2, we used to joke that if we let him he'd try to befriend an axe murderer. Not so funny now.

 

A few weeks ago we found out there was a house broken into in our neighborhood. So we took a refresher course on reminding ourselves to lock the door, and strangely this is the first time I thought about the break in since the locking the doors lecture.  but I've been consumed with Party O's dilemma. 

 

It's a great house in a kid friendly neighborhood. We hang out on the porch watching the kids play. Nicholas is going there for a week in august. I'm still letting him go of course but I'll worry an ounce more. but if I didn't let him go, that's opening Pandora's box. If I decide not to let him hang out in a upper middle class neighborhood. I certainly can't let him hang out at my mom's resale shop in the crappy part of town, where I've been mentally preparing myself for something like this to happen for 25 years… You'd expect bad things to happen in bad areas, not safe neighborhood.

 

Its just a weird feeling. Party O was asking for suggestions. One is calling a realtor. One is pricing bullet proof windows, steel proof locks, body armor… Of course Party O has vetoed both extreme ideas but it does make you think…

 

If  he was just like a friendly well-buff nudist, this would be so much easier…

It's only Hair

Wasn't there some freak philosopher that said stuff like every moment in life should be cherish… blah blah blah… Whatever!

 

But I do believe there are life changing moments. Some you are aware of, like my wedding, the birth of Nicholas, the first time I added extra sugar in a strawberry magaritas… And then they are those you don't realize until years later.

 

I think I'm going to have one of those moments soon. And that's a very good thing. It'll hopefully be a professional step up. So I'm excited and I'm stressed but mostly I want to be insanely rewarded by Bobby because god knows when I'll ever do good again.

 

So yesterday in honor of my upcoming moment, I made a life changing decision. I know I should of shared it with my husband first but I needed my mother's support and blessing. She of course looked disappointed. I begged her to try and understand. I wasn't going to hurt anyone. Nicholas would get used to it… she finally gave in and consented to my change… yes consented, not blessed.

 

I told Bobby and he was just thrilled. He asked how I wanted to do it. I gave him a couple of options… He of course picked the wrong one…!@#@$^*&% lovely…

 

For my new business, i am in the mood for a new look, not that I have a lot to work with. For 99% of the population, this isn't an dramatic discussion, but with a mom and eight opinated aunts. Hair is a big thing. And they really like my short straight hair. And they have always made it known their feelings of how they think I look with a perm… trust me, not positive. And the saying "If you can't say anything nice…" doesn't quite translate in our family.

 

So I'm mouthing off and I say I wanna do a home perm…I also said I wanted my buddy to do it. I also said I wanted to go the galleria and pay an arm and a leg for a ritzy perm. Bobby heard home perm. So he bought a home perm and went to three stores to find the rollers. He was so cute, like a puppy bringing a discovery home for total adoration, love, and approval.

 

That's just great. My loving husband made this most wonderful gesture and I just want to… I just want to… run screaming… call me an ungrateful bitch but afterall, they are called PERM-anents… not DAY-nets, not UNTIL-YOU-CHANGE-YOUR-MIND-net. Permanents. Hello?

 

I'm going back and fourth on it but I think Sunday after Nicholas'  hockey I'm going to just let him perm me… maybe make a party of it… watch a little six-feet-under, do a little grilling… perm the hair… have alcohol on hand if we need it and everything should be ok….

 

 The good news is that I'm so beautiful and so hot and always dressed in heels and makeup that even a bad perm would look good on my perfect body… Yup, I'm getting delusional in my old age… if anything, hope they're good smelling chemicals. At least we'll be happy for a little while.

 

In the end, i guess its only hair... and it'll grow back... eventually, and its not like I have a bunch of meetings coming up...

 

the really cool part is i view this as a marriage trust exercise... i'll let bob perm my hair than like he'll let me shaved his beard into a go-tee... There's the shaving cream... where did I put that darn razor... yes liz, bob will be making a appointment with you to get my hair perm soon...