The Amazing Thing-a-ma-jig

Is there anyway I can mute my inner voice for a while? I really need to. I found a thing I want to buy. Being a crip, I'm always looking for stuff that will simplify my life and those helping me. If it's under $100, I don't usually have to clear it with Bobby, not that he cares. I just like telling him. There's about a 50/50 chance that the invention works for me. In my backyard, there's a deep, deep, grave of broken "thing-a-ma-jigs"…

I found the coolest thing ever… Bobby and I have been going fishing a lot. It's fun and it keeps us out of the malls. So I started to think, which Bobby strongly advises against because thinking usually gets me in trouble. But in a fleeing thought I pondered how awesome would it be if I found a thing-a-ma-jig that helps me cast my line…

Thank god for the internet where naked guys, unlimited shopping, and expensive thing-a-ma-jigs are just a google away. Within 2.3 seconds, I found my newest obsession, and his name is Jon Luke, no I'm kidding…

It's called Van's E-Z cast.  It claims it attaches to any wheelchair, Cast and reel work independently even with no wrist or finger movement and casts 40 feet. How cool is that? Now if I can find a hook that lets me stab the bait instead of having to thread it on a hook, I'll be virtually an independent fisherwoman. And I just heard my husband scream "No Claire, don't even go there"… from his office… 20 miles away. He gets so negative when spastic me plays with sharp things, geez.

So here's my dilemma, Van's E-Z cast is a little more than my fun money. Van's E-Z cast is slightly more than one weekend spending if we really played hard. In another words, its pretty damn expensive for a experiment. But did I mention its wiggy wiggy cool. (crip dictionary: wiggy = really when I'm trying to be cute and irresistible.)

Bobby never tells me no, which is ironic because sadly, that's all I tell him. He just offered a warning that it may not work and he knows he and my friends don't mind casting for me at all. And since they automatically bait my hook… (at least for now.) casting is no biggy.

After carefully processing his thoughtful explanation I must confess, I still wiggy want this. If it shows up at the door next week Bobby will just shake his head, I'll be extra friendly before bed and it won't cause any major fights.

Here's where it gets sticky. I figure we will fish maybe twice a month til late November, that's about 10ish more times. If my thing-a-ma-jig works, time will fly by. Now if it doesn't work, I'm screwed. My beloved will never yell at me but with every messed up cast I try I can hear him asking, "How's that $300 rod working for ya sweetie?" and because I'm stubborn beyond belief, I'll grin saying its way cool even if we are 20 feet above the water, and the dumb thing only release 17 feet of line.

If I was smart… well, I should say if I was less dumb. If I were smart, this column wouldn't exist. If I was less dumb, I'd wait til late October to buy this. That way on the off chance that it doesn't work out as I imagine, it can be "misplaced" as we store fishing gear for the winter.

Did I mention it's really really cool… just three clicks on my computer and it could be here by Friday… yup…